2010 - The year so far...

Three weeks into January, Christmas and New Year seem like a half-remembered dream and summer too far off to even begin to anticipate. Even spring feels months ahead rather than just around the corner.

The recent snow and ice prevented an easy glide into 2010. The first full week back at work turned into a struggle, not only against the elements but the whole British public transport network. Those who lived at the furthest corners of civilisation – Kent and Surrey – were stuck at home, unable to move their cars and their trains cancelled. Poor them, they had to ‘work from home’, which entails nothing much more than watching tv with their mobiles and laptops switched on.

Us Londoners had the worse deal. Skidding along icy pavements more slippery than Streatham Ice Rink, we donned wellingtons, scarves, hats and earmuffs. Coats and jumpers normally saved for gardening duties were brought into service for their warmth. A lot of people appeared to be wearing their whole wardrobe bar the swim wear. Fashion was forgotten and the commuters crossing London Bridge resembled the exile scene from Fiddler On The Roof. Every morning, as soon as I got up, I’d peer through my curtains into the darkness hoping to see enough snow to keep me at home and in my pyjamas. It was not to be. The Northern Line for once in its miserable life was fully operational with no major delays. There was nothing to stop me getting to work. Once there I spent most of the day obsessively reading travel and weather reports. BBC weather and TFL websites were constantly open, along with regular phone calls to Harvey at home, just in case there had been a freak fall of snow in Wimbledon that would require me to dash immediately home. No such luck.

***************************************************************************

With the snow melted and keeping warm no longer the top priority, I turned my attention to weightier matters, very weighty as it turned out. I’d noticed a certain snugness to my clothes for some time, indeed some had grown so snug that they prohibited all but the shallowest breathing. My choice of outfits had become reduced to a small selection of figure-concealing smocks. This couldn’t continue, Elizabeth Taylor may have spent the last 20 years in kaftans but I wanted a bit more variety to my wardrobe.

Last Monday, as soon as I got home from work I dusted down the Wii Fit, which had been sitting forgotten underneath the tv stand for many months, to take the body test and begin exercising. I stood on the board and waited for it to measure my weight. I had put on 10lbs since the last time I’d stepped on it 154 days before. Disaster! I’d been overweight then, now my Wii told me I needed to lose 1st 8 lbs just to reach an acceptable weight. Reader, it was all I could do to stop myself from crying.

Harvey patted my back consolingly and said it was just after Christmas and everyone put on a bit over the holidays. But I knew this wasn’t due to a few too many After Eights. No, the reason why I was so overweight was because I’d reached a stage in my life a year or so back where I just said ‘fuck it’. I was fed up with constantly worrying about what I ate, endlessly on a diet of some type or other, always trying to shift that stubborn last 10 lbs. Enough was enough, I was going to eat what I fancied and to hell with it. Well look where it got me, 22lbs heavier without having to try. Whilst I sat silently staring into the distance wondering how it all went so wrong, Harvey decided to get on the Wii himself. His results were even more shocking, he was in the ‘obese’ weight range.

Later that evening when we sat down to a dinner of Thai chicken curry with noodles neither of us ate with the usual gusto. We both ate slowly and left some in our bowls when normally they would have been wiped clean with a naan. I felt like a participant on Fat Families, half expecting Gillian McKeith to knock on the door at any minute demanding to inspect our poo.

Needless to say, Harvey and I have embarked on a weight reduction programme. Nothing fancy, simply eating less and moving more. I’ll let you know how it goes.

***************************************************************************

Although I may be far from lean, there are slim pickings in my bank account. For most of us January is our poorest month. Why then do all the stores have sales on? Why not wait until we’ve been paid at the end of the month? I’ve seen so many great bargains that I’ve had to disregard because there’s nothing to buy them with, credit cards and overdraft being exhausted.

If you can get a few quid together though, January is a great month for going out. There are so many bars and restaurants - knowing that business in January is slow because people are on diets, detoxing or plain broke – offering 50% discount on food and in some cases drinks. Shame I can only order the salad and diet coke.