A day at Kew Gardens

After two weeks of holiday plans disrupted by a combination of illness, hangovers, bad weather and plain indecision, I finally made it to Kew Gardens today. That I managed to get there at all was a minor miracle as London Transport had done everything in their power to prevent me. There was no tube from Wimbledon and no train to Kew Bridge but my determination won through and after 3 buses and a twenty minute walk I finally arrived.

The walk alerted me to another complication I hadn't forseen, my new tights though a lovely shade of green were too small and as I walked I felt them sneaking there way down my hips, with the crotch heading kneewards as a result. Discrete hitching didn't work but I did come across a clothes shop were I went in and asked an asistant if I might pop into a cubicle to adjust myself. Once inside I grabbed the waistband of the tights with both hands and jumped up and down to hoik them up over my waist. Relief was only temporary and by the time I got to Kew they were once again at half mast.

To get into the gardens I used a friend's membership card, today I was Mrs Lynn Tanner. I headed straight for the Pavillion cafe where I had a much needed slice of coffee and walnut cake and a cup of coffee at a table in the sun. After that, a quick trip to the ladies where I took off my knickers and put them on again over my tights to secure them into position and like Superman in a dress I set to exploring the gardens.

The first thing that struck me were the trees; their sizes, shapes and colours and how beautiful they were. Trees are fairly abundant in the urban landscape but rarely get noticed. Here they are the landscape, making it seem both timeless and ancient.

Under an oak tree I found a pearl bead amongst the fallen acorns. I fancied it to have fallen from the bodice of a Tudor lady-in-waiting who had wandered through and that I too was a lady of the Elizabethan court, strolling through the leafy glades on my way to meet the men back from the hunt. (NB I do know that Kew Gardens wasn't created until several hundred years after the Tudors but please indulge my fantasy.)

As I strolled through the grounds past flower beds and rockeries, ponds and fountains, I thought how strange it was, the articial world we build for ourselves and the material goods we aspire to have, when really we are most happy when we are out amongst nature. I felt so content in the sunshine, walking amongst the trees with the grass under my feet, stopping to look at bees and butterflies as they flitted between flowers. The only thing that stopped it from being totally idyllic was the constant noise of planes overhead as they made their way in to land at Heathrow.

For the journey back I took the boat from Kew Bridge to Westminster. Being near, in or on the water is another thing that we all seem to love but do little of. I plugged in my iPod (not all material goods are bad) and listened to Strange Games and Funky Things compilation album as we made our way downriver.

I was surprised that there was no other traffic on the river besides the odd solo rower practising. Why aren't we all gliding up and down the river amongst the cormorants, cranes, geese, swans and ducks instead of being jammed into trains, tubes and cars? Are we mad? I suspect we are.

On our way we passed under many bridges; the iron splendour of Hammersmith, the bronze deorative swirls of Battersea, Albert Bridge with its delicate spires of pastel blue, pink and white giving it the appearance of an iced confection.

As we got further in to central London, both banks were dominated by new riverside developments. Great glass and steel tiers like rows of battleships with their prows facing the river - the topmost penthouse apartments forming the captain's bridge.

The sights became more familiar - the peace pagoda in Battersea Park and in the distance the four turrets of Battersea Power Station rising above the trees like Greek columns, it's skeletal main body only visible as we passed under Chelsea Bridge.

Then on past Vauxhall, with its bronze statues guarding the bridge, or is it the MI5 building they watch over? Down past Lambeth Palace and the Houses of Parliament and then finally docking at Westminster Pier.

There the spell was lost as I disembarked and found myself landed amongst a swarm of tourists. The noise, the traffic and the grey stone buildings that are usually invisible to me felt intrusive and disturbing. Once more I was back amongst the throng and it didn't feel good.

Not to worry though, in the words of Ice Cube 'Today I didn't even have to use my A.K. I gotta say it was a good day.'